Sick and tired

I'm sick of the stress and headache that goes along with being a parent. I look forward to the day that my son finally becomes a man and has to be responsible for himself. Now keep in mind it's not dealing with his issues that's causing me to think this way, no not at all. I love my son and I will always stand by him, regardless of the circumstances. It's his dam mother that's making me regret ever having kids! I spend more time on the phone and listening to her daily complaints about his behavior than when we were actually together. When people say that misery loves company, I am living proof of this. I can't describe how happy I was when his mother and I went our seperate ways, I thought the nightmare of dealing with this perpetual pain in my ass was over. I looked forward to finally having her out of my life except for the responsibilities of dealing with our child. No more arguing, no more petty nit picking over the stupidest of things, dam man I can finally breathe again! Unfortunately as long as this chick is in my life I'll never have peace and God forbid the fact that I actually am happy at this point. My son and his mom have become my cross to bare and as time goes by the burden gets heavier.

I'm not a chronic complainer and I'm more than willing to give my son what he needs in order to grow up and be a decent young man in this world. I just wish there was a way to do this without being bothered with his mother, a perfect scenario in a perfect world that will probably never happen. I used to wonder why some men would just cut out on their kids, never follow up, no type of support whether it be emotional or monetary and i would often think that some dudes just don't give a dam. In reality they probably just got fed up with dealing with the anger and venom of a woman scorned and figured if being in the child's life means dealing with this crap then forget about it, "I'm out!". I often wish I could do the same thing but my conscience and my morality won't allow it. I'm one of those shmucks that hangs in there to the bitter end. I take the constant verbal shots, and I deal with her nagging unhappiness just to be there for my son, and to let let him know that dad does give a dam.
My reality is that there's no way to get around dealing with just him without dealing with his mom and even though I'm sick and tired of the drama that they constantly bring into my life, I'm here to stay. My emotions run hot and cold when it comes to parenting. I pray each day for the strength and wisdom I need to get me through these times. Rasing children doesn't come with instructions but through faith and determination and a belief in my higher power, I'll get through it, because at the end of the day it is what it is!